One Name, Two Stories: February.

10:14 AM Audrey Kruse 0 Comments

Hello everyone! I know we are already nearly halfway done with March, but don't think I forgot about you all! I got very positive feedback from the last post on ON2S, which makes me a happy camper, since I love writing about someone other than myself, for a change. As the days go on I find myself missing my other Audrey more and more each day. . . But, being able to catch up with her and hear about what's going on in her life makes me all the happier! So alas, here is an update on what was going on in our lives for the month of February! And Audrey - stop doing exciting things please, you're really making me look dull.

Audrey Kruse:

February really wasn't an "exciting" month for me, but I would say it was a very productive month for myself. I find myself getting more and more comfortable and into a set schedule here at the U. My weeks are filled with classes and homework and my weekends filled with cleaning and grocery shopping, but I am really enjoying myself here. I love the school and I love my roommates and I love the people I am meeting. However, I am really getting "homesick" from going without my two dearest friends from ASU, Drew and Jasmyne. It's a weird thing to get used to because the three of us went to spending every second of everyday together to suddenly eliminating one of us from the setting. I miss them. A lot.

But anyway -  back to my productivity, I would say I accomplished a lot this past month. I had figured out what I want to be studying for the next four years (as of right now, at least). I plan on studying journalism with an emphasis in strategic communication and a minor in fashion studies (why do I have a feeling this doesn't shock anyone....?) And in addition to that, I now have not one, but TWO new jobs! My first job is that I am now the assistant coach for Columbia Height's Synchronized Swim team, and I love every second of it, it fills the hole in my heart that misses synchro. My other job is that I am an on-call employee at the American Swedish Institute for their Youth & Family programs! Once again, just a dream. It's funny because these two jobs are things that I have loved doing regardless, and now I get paid for it? Amazing.

I didn't really do anything too exciting over the month, except I did spend Valentines Day with my lovely friend, Danielle and we took a lil trip to the Como Zoo Conservatory and tried to remember what summer felt like. I highly suggest everyone in the Twin Cities check it out, it's refreshing to be around all the plant life (and a sloth!). I also have been in a handful of situations where someone will come up to me and say "Hey! I read your blog!" Which leads me to wonder, how many of you are there....? I love all the support I'm getting though, so please, keep reading! That's all for me, I guess, sorry to bore you.

Como Zoo Conservatory


Just observing some plants
Made some new friends at MOA



Audrey Hayes:

I don't find myself FaceTiming with Audrey as much as I would like to, but her life is just absolute madness (the good kind!) and so I understand how it can be hard to have time to talk. We do, however, text nearly everyday and share little details about our lives and fill each other in as much as we can. It seems that she is really getting settle in over in London! She knows what coffee shops she prefers in her area, she knows the best places to sit and study, she goes on walks frequently and she's comfortable exploring on her own. I envy her for her braveness to take on a foreign city on her own and turn it into "her city". When I asked Audrey what happened in her life in the past month the first thing she said was "I was birthed" as in, she celebrated her birthday. Yes, Audrey Hayes is now 19! In celebration she got a pretty 'lil tattoo on her foot which she said hurt so badly she limped for about two weeks afterwards. We don't think she was exaggerating, do we? Talking about new looks, watch out everyone, Audrey cut her hair and now has what the Brits call "fringe" and don't worry, she looks even more adorable than you could imagine with it.

Throughout February, she did lots of exploring into new neighborhoods and areas of London including Borough Market and Shoreditch, both which she adored. Her favorite part of February, however, was when she attended her first concert at the legendary 02 arena, which just so happened to be a show with some of her favorite bands performing. She saw All Time Low with Walk the Moon and You Me At Six, which I honestly can't put into words how happy and excited Audrey was about that. She plans on seeing All Time Low again soon, in London. I asked her "How is All Time Low (an American band) so big in the UK?" and her response was "I am honestly wondering that myself."

Long story short, Audrey is really enjoying her time in London, experiencing so many new things and making so many new friends. If you want to read more about her experience, read her blog here

Aud's new tattoo 

Borough Market 
ATL concert at the O2 Arena

Brick Lane

Audrey featuring fringe

Chinese New Year in London!

St. Paul's Cathedral

Kensington Palace

Kensington


That's all for now, everyone... Happy Spring!

XOXO

Audrey (Kruse...)

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Hello? Silver lining? Are you there?

2:11 PM Audrey Kruse 0 Comments


I'm afraid I've found myself in a bit of a rump lately - something that we all go through, especially freshman, but does that necessarily make it easier? Through my struggles and concerns (and boy do I have a lot), I've been told that "I'm just a freshman, I don't need to have my life put together yet" which just doesn't work for me. If you have gotten to know me, you'd learn that I have never been someone who likes to just "wing it". I understand the saying, in theory, but when I think about "relaxing" because, after all, I "have four years ahead of me to figure my life out" I think it's quite silly. Silly because I feel that every decision I make, school-related, can affect me. Affect me whether it's towards the major I want to pursue, affect me by being a "wasted" class that I don't end up needing now that I've switched majors, affect me by being a class too hard and challenging where I have to re-take it, due to failing it the first time. You get the point. 

*Pause. If you find too much negativity in this post, or it's bringing you down, I apologize and suggest you close this page instantly. I am sharing my thoughts on my online journal and I suppose I'm destined to have bad days every once in a while, right?*

I guess I feel so lost lately because I feel that I am losing the person I once defined myself as. I hide back tears as I admit that I, who once considered myself a strong student, a self-advocate, and intelligent individual, is now having worries that I've never dealt with before. Am I going to be able to pass this class? Should I rewrite these notes for a third time, in hope of being able to remember the material? What if the accommodations I am receiving for my hearing are only slowing me down? Am I dumb? Am I going to have a GPA high enough to study abroad? When did I lose my love for school and learning? I never would have imagined in a million years that I would have to ask myself these questions. I knew that college was going to be hard, but I don't think I fully realized that there was a possibility of having my straight A and B's days gone. I am in love with the school I am attending and my social life is fun. I am generally in a very happy place, but then you just kind of have moments of realization like this. 

I've always been a worry wart, that I am aware of. That could possibly explain some of the reasoning behind my meltdown, and once again, I apologize. As they say, you are your own worse enemy....      I guess what I'm concluding to, is I would love some words of advice and personal stories to be shared. When does it get easier? ....Does it get easier? What are the best ways to work through this? How were you able to find the silver lining behind these dark clouds? 


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